Thursday, March 20, 2008

PLATONIC FRIENDS

Hey all,

This is an interesting topic and i need your opinions . It's this thing about ex-lovers or friends of our spouses/partners. Is it ideal to keep a relationship with one's ex even if they too are married? And what about platonic friends? I know we all had platonic friends of the opposite sex before we got married. Do we do away with those liaisons after getting married especially if they aren't approved by our partners?

I had a few male friends before i got married. My hubby didn't approve of most of them while we were dating but i still consorted with some of them. After marriage though, i cut off friendships with the opposite sex out of respect for my hubby and my marriage. I just didn't see the point in carrying on platonic friendships with other guys. For one i am married, secondly what was there to talk about really? And thirdly most of them are married as well and i put myself in their wives' shoes. Would i like my hubby clinging on to female friends from his past(whether platonic or not)?

I consider myself pretty secure in my marriage coz after my hubby and i got married he moved to Canada before me and i joined him almost 2 yrs later. That period of separation was the most insecure i have been in my life. My hubby was in a foreign land with a bevy of exotic women why won't i be scared? Anyway he kept his word and vows and didn't rest until we were together so i think i have earned a right to be secured in my marriage.

Still, i don't subscribe to men keeping female friends especially when these friends are not married. My hubby has a few from college. I know them coz we were in college together. He doesn't see any harm in carrying on friendships with them but i do. I gave up my friends out of respect for my marriage but it seems men don't see it the same way. What do you think?

Cheers

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

WHAT A GOOD TOPIC! MY DEAREST HUSBAND IS OF THE SAME OPINION WITH YOURS,ONCE MARRIED ALL RELATIONSHIP WITTH EX(S);CUT OFF, PERIOD.I AGREE WITH THIS BUT I THINK IT SHOULD NOT BE ONE SIDED. AND AS FOR THE PLATONICS; WELL, IF IT WAS TRULY PLATONIC; WHY ATTACH ANY STRING TO IT? IT CAN BE KEPT; AS THIS COULD DEVELOP INTO A GOOD FAMILY FRIENDSHIP.(PROVIDED THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY ENDORSES IT) WE ARE WOMEN; YES! BUT, WE ARE ALSO HUMAN. REMAIN BLESSED.

Anonymous said...

Been reading your blog for a few weeks and it's really interesting.

Just a tip on your weight loss entry.....I have a 7 month old and i gained most of my weight before i got pregnant, virtually none during pregnancy.I live in London.

Four months ago i decided to get rid of my extra weight. I 've lost about 29lbs , with 18lbs to go.

Just eat everything but get rid of junk food. Eat chocolate, crisps and desserts in severe moderation. Also ditch the diet drinks and stick to water.

My greatest tips are:

1.ALWAYS eat breakfast, usually cereal with skimmed milk or granary bread, toast with marmalade or thinly spread butter or even an egg. Hsve unsweetened pressed(not concentrate)orange juice.

2. If you are hungry EAT!

3. Have a mid - morning snack like a handful of unsalted mixed nuts or some fresh fruit of your choice.

3. Have a sandwich for lunch. Add a green salad to bulk it up.

4. Have a snack if you want to like yoghurt or a piece of dark chocolate, organic preferred.

5. Change your dinner to a huge salad at night with grilled fish, chicken or steak.

6. Cut down on hot chocolate and stick to herbal teas but ordinary english tea is still good with half fat milk.

7. It's hard but TRY to exercise. Fast walkng is what i do now while my hubby watches the baby for about 45 mins.

8. Take a multivitamin daily.

9. Ditch white bread.

Really i can't believe how much weight i've lost. I am not on a diet, i've changed my eating habits and my life.

I cook our Naija food for my hubby and if i really want some i've realised that my portions before were just too big and i was eating way too much fat and meat.

My hubby does not eat too much anyway which i think has really helped. Most of my intial weight gain was my love for eating out. Now i eat out but i watch what i eat, SIMPLE.

Once i've lost all the weight i am going to have to work hard to keep it off. That's the real challenge and that is why i'm NOT on any diet and i eat whatever i like.

Good luck. If i can do it so can you.

mum said...

Thanks alot for those tips. I am aware of most of them and i try to follow them. i find it hard to do coz i am a stay at home mum. It can be boring being home all day. So when i get idle i just eat. Anyway as for exercise, i have a climber i go on for 20 mins everyday and i lift weights. I guess i eat back the calories i burn.

I had 3 kids in 4 yrs so i didn't really get the chance to lose much before gaining more.

Of all the inspirational stories i have heard yours haved touched me the most. I will definately give your tips a shot. My goal is 25-30 pounds and like u said i can do it. Thanks alot