30 SOMETHING

Hey all,

So i recently turned 30; last week actually. I was very grateful to God for another year and i also thanked him for my family. Hitting the 30s is a big one in any woman's life. There is no more excuse for frivolous conduct. The 20s are for discovering who we are and making all the mistakes we can but the 30s, no.

Hitting the third going on fourth decade of my life was very scary for me. I guess i am putting too much strain on myself to excel career wise in my 30s. My 20s proved very fruitful with the birth of my three kids and i feel so blessed. Many of my peers haven't even started their families and i am happy to have closed the child bearing chapter in my 20s.

Now the question on my mind is what next? I have fulfilled my dream of being a mother but i haven't fulfilled my career dreams. I have always looked upon myself as a strong, willful and proactive person. A go getter so to speak but now i feel so drained and jaded. My role as a mother seems to have consumed a greater part of who i am and i find myself apprehensive about a career. I have so many great ideas, i am assertive but still i feel so scared that my 30s will slip away without realising my career goals.

My kids are 3,2 and 9 months old. Day care is too exorbitant for my family right now so i have to be home with my kids. My son starts full time school in about 3 yrs by then I'll be 33. That is almost half of my 30s. As a woman i feel so cheated that i have to sacrifice so much of my life. It is rewarding to be a mum and all that but sometimes i get the unquenchable urge to shine in my other abilities. This always leaves me despondent because i usually can't

I studied mass communication and when i was in school i took on leadership roles. I was always a project leader and i savored those moments. I never thought i could stay home for almost five years without exerting my inherent talents or abilities.

I really hope to use my thirties wisely and i pray that i find the fulfilment i need. There are people who started their careers at a later time and excelled pretty fast. Maybe i am one of those people. I just want to take off before i am forty because if there is one thing i know, time goes by so fast. This is the year 2008 and women have morphed over the years. We are no longer just home makers waiting on our husbands to bring home the bacon. I guess this is what fuels my desire to excel, to prove my self worth and exude the confidence that comes with being independent.

Cheers